Friday, September 25, 2009

A Slice, A Half, A Whole

This morning, while I was supposed to be getting ready for work, I was on Twitter doing my usual routine of "Good morning," responding to my missed replies, etc. I saw that one of my girls re-tweeted something from Rev. Run, and it got me to thinking.

@BlackBeauty85 RT @RevRunWisdom: 1 lady said about her husbands long wrk hrs.“I'd rather have a slice of a gr8 man than the whole of an average man” (wrk!)

@BlackBeauty85 RT @RevRunWisdom: REFUSE TO BE AVERAGE!!!

While I definitely co-sign the rejection of being average (to me that's just a polite term for mediocre) I don't know whether I can completely agree with the first tweet. I responded:

@KittyPurrfecta Of course, having the whole great man would be great, or at least half. If you only have a slice, is that enough to be satisfied? Hmmm....

I understand what the quote was supposed to mean, and to a point I agree. I would much rather a man work hard to help provide for his family than to barely work or have a lazy attitude when he needs to have drive and initiative. That just would not do, and that type of man wouldn't last long enough with me to even think about marriage.

However, I am a bit selfish. (I blame it on my condition: onlychildism.) When I have something or someone truly great, I want it all to myself! Of course, I realize I can't have my way all the time and at some point I have to share. And I'm okay with that. You can't and shouldn't attempt to contain greatness. I understand. I would be willing to support him in any way I could. But I should be content with a slice? Naw, homie, I don't think that's gonna work!

Here's what I think of when I think of having a "slice" of a man:

  • Having a man that puts work before family

  • Him not truly being "at home" even when he's physically there at home (example: not being able to talk to me because he is so wrapped up in talking to colleagues & handling business, even though he's "off work")

  • Barely seeing him in passing

  • Him not being willing to put other things on hold for just a while to spend time with me/his family

  • Him using the majority of his time, attention, passion and money elsewhere

I know where some of you all went when you read this. "Well what about Michelle? I'm sure she doesn't get to spend time with Barack like she wants to, blah blah blah." Guess what? Although I'm fabulous and a great woman in my own right, I am not Michelle! I'm Tori D. and I need attention!

No, I don't plan on being one of those wives who basically sit around all day waiting to dote on their husbands. With the career that (I think) I'm going to pursue, I'm sure I will be working long hours at times too. Be that as it may, I'll be working those long hours so that I can have a couple weeks out of the year to travel, spend time with hubby, family and friends. I'm working to live, not living to work. If I have this "slice of a great man" will I be able to say the same thing about him? What's the point of being able to travel to exotic locales and whatnot if I don't have my partner with me? All I'll be thinking about is the fact that I'm in a new, romantic place and not getting any. That's when the eyes start to wander.... (Just being honest folks! lol)

So I can settle for half of a great man. Still better than a whole average man, in my opinion. With that half a great man, maybe we can take one two-week long vacay a year instead of a week-long one every three or four months. (Yes, I really planned on doing that.) Instead of having dinner together every day, it'll just be on Sundays and occasionally a Saturday. I may not be able to have him with me on every special occasion or every event that the kids have, but with half of a great man at least I can have anniversaries, maybe birthdays... And best of all, unlike with a "whole average man," I still get my space when I need it and won't be made to feel as guilty when I spend longer than I planned in the office or out with clients.

But a slice of a man? Oh no. For me, that slice is about as useless as that pie chart, and probably just as frustrating and difficult to understand.

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