Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Could You Be A SisterWife?

Sunday night, while flipping through channels, I ran across Sister Wives. From seeing the commercials, I'd already formed my opinion of the women who had agreed to be a part of this polygamist marriage. These women are dumb. This is just a way for dude to get more ass. They must have low self-esteem (because they were all a bit homely... I'm just saying). Dude ain't even cute enough for that!
So I watched the show to get a better understanding. Of course they were Mormons and most of them had grown up in polygamist families so to them it was nothing. Between the three women, there were 12 children with one on the way. The man was also courting wife #4 who already had 3 kids. The current sister wives explained the "benefits" of having other wives. Basically they had someone to watch the kids when they were having sexy-time with their 1/4 of a husband. O_o (If there were other benefits mentioned, I missed them. Really, all I heard was that there was always someone to watch the kids.) Isn't that what friends and teenage girls in need of money are for, to babysit?

At the end of the show, I had one question: WHY? I still didn't get the purpose. They didn't seem like they were pooling money and getting rich (from what I saw, only the guy and one of the moms worked--plus with all those kids you know their grocery and clothing bills are a beast). None of them were bisexual (at least, not that they mentioned) so it wasn't like they're getting another partner out of the deal, just another "sister." They all still had a ton of responsibility considering the ridiculous number of kids they had. The house wasn't all that big... What was the benefit?

Fast forward to last night. I'm at Bartender's place while he and a friend are chilling & Bartender asks the guy to explain what they had been discussing a few nights earlier. His friend proceeds to talk about how he asked his "lady friends" about coming together in a similar type set up. From the way he was talking, they apparently know about each other. He was reasoning that if they all pooled their money together to live in one location, they would cut down on rent, he wouldn't have to spend as much time away from them or as much money on travel (since most of them are in different states), and they would always have someone their to watch their kids. He looked at it as a wealth-building venture, with the added bonus of having all his pussy in one place. He also made mention of how "back in the day, in Africa, it was normal for a man to have a bunch of wives." Needless to say, the majority of his lady friends were not having it.

And then, while writing this post, I came across this blog post about an Alpha Female in polygamous relationships.

Some may side eye the hell outta me, but I gotta admit, some of it makes sense. I mean, if the women already know about each other, why not use each other to their advantage? Of course, I'd vote to make it even: if a man can have multiple wives, it would only seem fair that a woman could have multiple husbands, should she desire that. Not saying that this kind of arrangement would work for me, but to an extent, it may have it's advantages.

So what say you? Could you be a "sister wife" (or "brother husband" for the fellas)? Are there any circumstances under which you would even consider it? What do you think of those that practice this lifestyle?

Thursday, September 23, 2010

My Current Motivation

Yesterday, as I began to prepare for my first listing presentation (yay, me!) I was suddenly hit with an overwhelming feeling of anxiety. Chest tightening, shaking, the whole nine yards. Thoughts of "What if they don't like me? What if they won't want me because I'm inexperienced? What if they ask me something I don't know? What if I miss something crucial that messes up the whole experience?" flooded my head, and in that instant I wanted to say "never mind!"

I prayed. I breathed deeply. I re-grouped.
I reminded myself that I do not run and hide, and that I could overcome any obstacle I encountered even if I fell and looked foolish a few times in the process.
I got back to work.

Today I'm still working on my presentation, getting details, running reports, making my presentation pretty and whatnot. I took a little break to look at a blog that I haven't visited in a while. I viewed some of the cards on Affirm Art and came across the affirmation I needed for today (and really, the rest of this very busy year):

courtesy of affirmart.blogspot.com

Although my plate is full and new obligations are being added to my calendar daily, I am happy that it is that way. Knowing that I am capable of dealing with anything and making situations work in my favor has given me renewed energy. I'm ready to work.

Monday, September 20, 2010

What Would You Do?

This weekend I was presented with some soap-worthy drama that I have no idea how to handle.

I have a friend who has recently gotten married and had a baby. I didn't know much about the guy although I'd seen him around before, but other friends expressed their concern that dude was a dog. From brief interaction with him, I knew he was a flirt, but I didn't learn the extent of his actions until Saturday.

While talking to a good friend, this guy came up. She told me that a mutual friend of ours met him one night at a club where his band was playing. She asked if he was seeing anyone and he said no, he was single. Long story short: they have a one-night stand, she feels awful & avoids him. One day she & some others run into the couple (while the wife was still pregnant); he plays the "we just met" game. Then he texts her around 5-something in the morning one day, asking if he can come over "to chill." She tells him off & that's that. Later, she finds out that was right after his wife had the baby.

I won't even get into how he tried to get back at another friend of mine who he used to mess around with & tried to holla at again right after getting married....

Basically he's f*cked over two of my friends, and only one of them knows it. He shouldn't get away with that.

So now I'm trying to decide whether I should tell his wife or not. Like I stated, she's a friend. As sweet as she is, she definitely doesn't deserve that kind of treatment. And if he's trying to bone two other folks that I know of, imagine how many he may be messing with that I don't know about! I'd hate for him to bring her something she can't get rid of, if ya know what I mean.

And just to add the icing to the cake: I used to talk to this guy's cousin a good little while back. I don't want it to seem like some kind of delayed, roundabout revenge because it's absolutely nothing like that. This could be a whole can of worms that I definitely don't want to get entangled in.

So what would you do? Tell her and let whatever happens happen? Keep your mouth shut and hope for the best? Only say something should she mention it? Confront the guy?

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Rally for the Scott Sisters

On this past Wednesday, hundreds of people marched onto Mississippi's state capital demanding the pardon and release of Gladys and Jamie Scott. They have served 16 years for a robbery netting $11. A robbery for which they maintain their innocence.

Monday, September 13, 2010

The Power of Positive Thinking

*Got this in an email from Jane Carter Solution today. Thought I'd pass it along*

Positive thinking and hard work are THE critical links to self improvement. Growth, happiness, and joy is the direct result of working hard and viewing life 'positively'.

Positive thinking can transform your life and allow you to do great things. Everyone and everything benefits from this change in you - your step lightens, your smile brightens, and your spirit generous. You find the joy in your life and share it with those around you.

How? Incorporate the following positive affirmations into your daily routine:

I deserve all the good things that come to me

· I deserve to be happy

· I deserve abundance

· I deserve love

· I deserve prosperity

· I deserve good health

· I deserve to enjoy life at its fullest

· I deserve a peaceful space to live

· I deserve to be in contact with Nature

· I deserve to be compensated for my skills and my knowledge

· I deserve to be successful

· I deserve to be surrounded by people who love me

· I deserve to experience beauty

· I deserve to enjoy my time doing something that I like

· I deserve to be appreciated

· I deserve to be respected

· I deserve to achieve my goals

Thursday, September 9, 2010

No (Virtual) Strings Attached.

I'm experiencing something very different with my current "relationship" for lack of a better word. (Brief sidenote already: is there another word I can use? I mean, "relationship" sounds so serious. It's not that serious yet... I could say "liaison" but that sounds so illicit.)

It's a small difference, but one that I couldn't help but notice.

Bartender and I are not friends on any social networking sites except for that one site when we were trying to find... well nevermind. No FB. No Twitter. He doesn't follow my blogs. We don't even have each others email addresses. This is partially because he's not big on the internet, and partially because it's just never really come up. I guess it was more of an issue with the last three because initial contact was made online. *shakes fist at BlackPlanet and it's connection to PsychoEx. Bastid.*

1. I can vent in peace.
One thing I've hated about being social network friends with guys I was involved with was the fact that if I vented anywhere, they would see it. A MySpace status --> Facebook status --> tweet wouldn't be up five minutes before I'd get a "what's wrong?" call or a "so that's how you feel?" text. Sometimes I just want to air out my frustrations before I actually talk to the person about them. Not to get advice or a solution right then, but to clear my mind of the evil stuff that would come out if I had to confront the person right then and there. Fortunately now I have that space. And although there's really nothing to complain about yet, I'm sure it'll come. LOL Plus, I can discuss my thoughts on relationships without having the "was that about us?" convo. I want to be able to share what I'm thinking--whether it be about sex, fidelity, trust in a relationship, whatever--without something being read into it. Not everything is about us. Aaaannnd if I happen to post something like a poem, I won't have to go through that weird convo of my SO thinking that it was about them when it wasn't. (Yes, that has happened. I didn't have the heart to tell SupaBlack that the erotic poem he thought was for him... wasn't.)

2. I can flirt with abandon.
I flirt, I can't help that. A lot of what I consider being friendly and playful, others take as flirting, so I guess I have to accept that. And who does this "flirting" occur with? People that I have no interest in. So when I tweet a double entendre to someone or swoon at a pic, I can do so without getting the third degree. Which is great, because I'm not gonna stop anyway.

3. I don't have the temptation to snoop.
Although I've never been the type to look through my guy's phone or email accounts, I do have a habit of visiting the Facebook wall a couple times a day occasionally. And although I've rarely, if ever, said anything about the posts that I see, there have been occasions where I have been a little hurt or huffy over something that was said. And the pix... I'd rather not see who tagged him to what event and what he was doing while drunk *side-eye to SupaBlack's FB pix of him licking some broad's leg & him claiming "I don't even remember that, I was sooo drunk." Bastid.*

4. If we break up, I can make a clean break.
None of this trying to decide whether or not to remove him as a friend or unfollow him. No seeing posts/pix about a new chick. No deleting him off some sites only to realize you're still connected on others. No having to go through and delete months of messages and shit. None of that. Clean, instant break. And trust, when I break, I BREAK.

5. If we break up and make up, I don't have to start all over again (not virtually, anyway).
This is really a moot point anyway, as my three strikes rule has been lowered to "half a strike & you're out." But if my three strikes rule was still in place and we did get back together I don't want to go through that awkward thought of whether or not to "friend" him again and then the act of actually doing it. Since it's not an issue now, it wouldn't be then. And that's more than alright with me. :)

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Quote of the Day

Don't let me loose in a bookstore, y'all. Regardless of what kind of bookstore it is, I'm bound to find something I want. Even if it's just a store with a little book section, keep me away from it! The other day my mom wanted to stop at the Christian bookstore, and of course I came out with a bag. So now I'm reading The Me I Want To Be: Becoming God's Best Version of You by John Ortberg and wanted to share a paragraph that kinda hit me like "damn."

Only God knows your full potential, and he is guiding you toward that best version of yourself all the time. He has many tools and is never in a hurry. That can be frustrating for us, but even in our frustration, God is at work to produce patience in us. He never gets discouraged by how long it takes, and he delights every time you grow. Only God can see the best version of you, and he is more concerned with you reaching your full potential than you are.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Omnism.... Or Baha'i?

I've finally found a name for what I believe in. I think...

A few posts ago I talked about the fact that even though I still identify as Christian, I don't necessarily believe that Christianity is the only way. For the longest, my Facebook religious preference said "All religions hold some validity."

In my search to find how to put my beliefs into exact words, I came across this simple, beautiful word that sounds like something I would've just pulled out of the air if I'd tried to name it myself: Omnism. Of course! The definition of omnism varies a little, depending on who you talk to, since it's not really an organized religion itself. For some, it means belief "in a single transcendent purpose or cause uniting all things or people". Others (like me) believe that all religions contain varying elements of a common truth, or place omnism in opposition to dogmatism, in that omnists are open to potential truths from all religions.

Great, I've got it. I know what to call my belief system now.

Or so I thought.

I'm perusing the Facebook Omnism group and see a comment from someone saying that they think all religions are really worshiping the same God. That kind of correlates to my other thought on religion: ever religion and culture, no matter what name or how many gods they worship, are all actually referring to the same deity. However, someone responded saying this belief was not actually omnism, but rather ideology of the Baha'i faith.

According to Baha'i teaching, there is really only one religion and One Divine Being, regardless of the man-made designation. From bahai.org:

The Bahá'í belief in one God means that the universe and all creatures and forces within it have been created by a single supernatural Being. This Being, Whom we call God, has absolute control over His creation (omnipotence) as well as perfect and complete knowledge of it (omniscience). Although we may have different concepts of God's nature, although we may pray to Him in different languages and call Him by different names--Allah or Yahweh, God or Brahma--nevertheless, we are speaking about the same unique Being. 

I'm still studying both of these schools of thought, so I make no claims of knowing exactly how, or if, they correspond. But if omnism is believing that all religions hold some truth, that would include Baha'i, would it not? I probably won't ever find something that is an exact match to what I believe, but these are probably as close as I'll get.

Anyway, if you're interested, here are a few links with resources concerning Omnism & Baha'i.

courtesy of religioustolerance.org