Friday, January 29, 2010

Soundtrack to my Present State

In regards to my quarterlife crisis the state of my career/life…

In regards to HWHNT…

In regards to my highly anticipated cruise with the family & HWHNT…

In regards to recent attitudes about my hair now that the naps are really starting to take over (even though I can in no way relate to hair breaking off or being the “source of so much laughter.” More like the source of envy, but I digress…)

And of course my forever and always theme song (or one of them at least):

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

"On Atheists"

For about a week or so I've had a post drafted on this subject, trying to get together exactly what I wanted to say. Then today I'm looking through my blogroll & find that Z over at Purple Lace Gloves has already said everything I wanted to say (and in a much nicer, clearer, and more succinct way). Since I have nothing to add to what she has stated, all I will say is check it out here.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

I'm in a random kinda mood

With things picking up at work, school starting back, trying to get the ball rolling on real estate and my new dedication to the gym, I haven't really had much time to write. I've had plenty of ideas for things to write about, but to sit down and get it done? Nope... I want to do better with that; I need to! But I've been singing that same old song for a while huh? So I guess I'll keep posting sporadically until I can make myself either write on schedule or post as soon as the inspiration hits me.

When I do have some downtime, I'm usually looking at other cities and states, trying to plan my move in December. Yes, I'm already looking forward to the end of the year. But now I'm kind of wonder if I'm doing the right thing. My main thing was to get out of my folks' house. That's happening this year whether I stay in Mississippi or not. And I still have the desire to go... I'm just trying to figure out am I really moving for him or for me? I know, I'm not even supposed to be getting wrapped up in a guy right now. So to move somewhere solely for him would be ridiculous. The areas I'm looking at are close to family and seem pretty nice from what I've seen (I plan on doing some visits soon). But I've been trying to decide if it's worth it. Part of me is saying "Yes! Go for it! This is what has to be done; it's destined for you." Every sign is saying this is it. But there is one tiny nagging voice asking "If it wasn't for him, would you make this move? If nothing became of this *whatever it is/could be* could you be happy here?" Maybe my anxiety is coming from the fact that I don't really know too many people in the places I'm thinking about, although I'm not too far from family. I'm praying I make the right decision (which seems like it would be easy to know because of the answer to my last inquiry of God concerning this whole thing... *shrugs*). But the whole idea of moving excites me! Starting over thrills me! I just don't wanna have to tuck my tail and go home for any reason. OH MY GOD I think I just really figured out what is bothering me! My main thing is that I don't want to fall on my face (moving somewhere where I end up miserable, or can't find a decent job, or can't afford a nice place, etc.) because I have no intentions of coming back under mom & dad's roof once I'm gone.

The Pregnancy Pact?! (Sorry, just saw a commercial for a movie--Lifetime, of course--that's apparently based on a true story.)


That's it for the time being, I suppose... Hmmm, guess I'm not feeling as random as I thought...

Thursday, January 14, 2010

On Haiti

I haven't posted anything on Haiti because I truly did not know what to say. My heart goes out to all of those who have lost family and friends, and even worse, those who are in the dark as far as whether their loved ones are okay. While we in Jackson were facing our "crisis" of not having running water, it in no way compares to the suffering of those poor people. Of course there are many ways to help. I recommend Wyclef's YELE (text YELE to 501 501 to donate $5) because 100% goes directly to relief efforts. The Red Cross also has text option (Haiti to 90999 to donate $10) but usually about 50% of proceeds go to Red Cross' administration. Of course there are numerous organizations that you can access locally and nationally, but please be sure that they are legitimate. You're online anyway, take a few minutes to verify the validity of some of these "charities." Some people are not above doing for self in the midst of others' suffering.

Speaking of self-serving assholes who thrive off of the suffering of others, please believe I plan to go in on "Reverend" Pat Robinson for his comments in regard to Haiti and how misguided and misanthropic they are. And of course I've heard about Rush Limbaugh's comments, but I truly believe that this fool could be the devil himself; no amount of berating would make him change or feel sorry. Tonight, I'll just leave it at what Keith Olbermann had to say concerning these two:

Friday, January 8, 2010

Don't Believe the Hype!

I didn't want to do this post. I didn't wanna address the Single Black Woman "problem"/"epidemic"/"phenomenon" or whatever the media is calling it today. But it's all around me so as the topic of discussion I feel I should have my say.

Why does it seem like the whole world has been on a "po' black woman aint neva gon' git married" tip lately? ("Lately" being the last year, at least) Everyone is throwing around stats about how many black men are in jail, gay, won't date black women or don't have anything past a college education, leaving aaallllll the poor black women without a man. 71% of us are single, 42% of us have never married, 50% of us are never getting married and might as well start stocking up on cats now, 3% of us may be able to get a man of another race, 100% are desperate for a man!

There's a phrase people love: "Men lie, women lie, numbers don't." Well there's another phrase out there too: "There are lies, damned lies, and statistics." Stats can be used to prove or disprove anything, depending on how the questions are asked and how numbers are skewed. So yes there are a lot of "single" black women. How many are single because they don't believe in the institution of marriage or just don't want to be tied down? How many are not interested in men at all? How many are not married but in serious committed relationships? Yeah there are plenty of numbers floating around out there, but ladies and gentlemen, please don't believe the hype!

All of the attention around this issue has lead to a lot of "discussion," i.e., finger pointing. On both sides. Black women saying the reason the majority of us are single is because Black men don't have their shit together. Black men saying we're single because we're too independent/controlling/bitchy/whatever. Others sitting back watching, saying "Those Blacks just can't get it together." C'mon people! Drawing lines in the sand and doing battle is no way to solve any supposed problem we're facing, especially when the problem is "us" not getting together!

Instead of making generalizations and playing the blame game, how about we all take a look inwards. Think about what you as an individual need to work on. What you want from a mate and a relationship. What you've noticed in your previous relationships that didn't work and how you plan to make improvements & prevent it from occurring again. Erase preconceived notions about "black men blah blah blah," "black women blah blah blah" and take each encounter for what its worth, not as the end all be all as far as relationships.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Planning, Preparation and Payoff


“When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”

“Proper planning prevents piss poor performance.”

"If one asks for success and prepares for failure, he will get the situation he has prepared for."

At some point, one must make the decision that they will no longer be a passive participant in life. I am at that point. For the first 2 years of my life I have basically gone with the flow. I’ve had my desires, wishes, wants, but most of the times things would not go my way. This year, I plan on doing something. A lot of times, in past years, my “doing something” consisted of talking, praying and hoping things would work out. Time and time again that has proven to not be enough. I have determined that it is time to “take the bull by the horns” as it were, to not just talk about it but BE about it! So, 2010, for me, is a year of PLANNING, PREPARATION AND PAYOFF. I am at each of these stages, depending on what aspect I’m examining. But by year’s end (and for some of these things, before) I expect to see the results of my actions. I am taking almost every aspect of my life, examining it and devising my plan to make what I want happen. (I say almost because I’m not touching the relationship side. I mean really, how do you plan that out?) As much as possible, I’m removing the “it is what it is” mentality. True, some things are beyond my control and I have no choice but to accept that. But trust, I’m shaking things up as much as possible on my end.

This is the year that I turn 25 (I won’t get into my thing with numbers and why 5 and 25 are so significant to me, because it’s a little weird, I know). This is the year I complete my MBA. This is the year I move, possibly to a new city & state, to begin again.

2010 is my year! What about you?