Thursday, January 21, 2010

I'm in a random kinda mood

With things picking up at work, school starting back, trying to get the ball rolling on real estate and my new dedication to the gym, I haven't really had much time to write. I've had plenty of ideas for things to write about, but to sit down and get it done? Nope... I want to do better with that; I need to! But I've been singing that same old song for a while huh? So I guess I'll keep posting sporadically until I can make myself either write on schedule or post as soon as the inspiration hits me.

When I do have some downtime, I'm usually looking at other cities and states, trying to plan my move in December. Yes, I'm already looking forward to the end of the year. But now I'm kind of wonder if I'm doing the right thing. My main thing was to get out of my folks' house. That's happening this year whether I stay in Mississippi or not. And I still have the desire to go... I'm just trying to figure out am I really moving for him or for me? I know, I'm not even supposed to be getting wrapped up in a guy right now. So to move somewhere solely for him would be ridiculous. The areas I'm looking at are close to family and seem pretty nice from what I've seen (I plan on doing some visits soon). But I've been trying to decide if it's worth it. Part of me is saying "Yes! Go for it! This is what has to be done; it's destined for you." Every sign is saying this is it. But there is one tiny nagging voice asking "If it wasn't for him, would you make this move? If nothing became of this *whatever it is/could be* could you be happy here?" Maybe my anxiety is coming from the fact that I don't really know too many people in the places I'm thinking about, although I'm not too far from family. I'm praying I make the right decision (which seems like it would be easy to know because of the answer to my last inquiry of God concerning this whole thing... *shrugs*). But the whole idea of moving excites me! Starting over thrills me! I just don't wanna have to tuck my tail and go home for any reason. OH MY GOD I think I just really figured out what is bothering me! My main thing is that I don't want to fall on my face (moving somewhere where I end up miserable, or can't find a decent job, or can't afford a nice place, etc.) because I have no intentions of coming back under mom & dad's roof once I'm gone.

The Pregnancy Pact?! (Sorry, just saw a commercial for a movie--Lifetime, of course--that's apparently based on a true story.)


That's it for the time being, I suppose... Hmmm, guess I'm not feeling as random as I thought...

No comments: