Thursday, September 9, 2010

No (Virtual) Strings Attached.

I'm experiencing something very different with my current "relationship" for lack of a better word. (Brief sidenote already: is there another word I can use? I mean, "relationship" sounds so serious. It's not that serious yet... I could say "liaison" but that sounds so illicit.)

It's a small difference, but one that I couldn't help but notice.

Bartender and I are not friends on any social networking sites except for that one site when we were trying to find... well nevermind. No FB. No Twitter. He doesn't follow my blogs. We don't even have each others email addresses. This is partially because he's not big on the internet, and partially because it's just never really come up. I guess it was more of an issue with the last three because initial contact was made online. *shakes fist at BlackPlanet and it's connection to PsychoEx. Bastid.*

1. I can vent in peace.
One thing I've hated about being social network friends with guys I was involved with was the fact that if I vented anywhere, they would see it. A MySpace status --> Facebook status --> tweet wouldn't be up five minutes before I'd get a "what's wrong?" call or a "so that's how you feel?" text. Sometimes I just want to air out my frustrations before I actually talk to the person about them. Not to get advice or a solution right then, but to clear my mind of the evil stuff that would come out if I had to confront the person right then and there. Fortunately now I have that space. And although there's really nothing to complain about yet, I'm sure it'll come. LOL Plus, I can discuss my thoughts on relationships without having the "was that about us?" convo. I want to be able to share what I'm thinking--whether it be about sex, fidelity, trust in a relationship, whatever--without something being read into it. Not everything is about us. Aaaannnd if I happen to post something like a poem, I won't have to go through that weird convo of my SO thinking that it was about them when it wasn't. (Yes, that has happened. I didn't have the heart to tell SupaBlack that the erotic poem he thought was for him... wasn't.)

2. I can flirt with abandon.
I flirt, I can't help that. A lot of what I consider being friendly and playful, others take as flirting, so I guess I have to accept that. And who does this "flirting" occur with? People that I have no interest in. So when I tweet a double entendre to someone or swoon at a pic, I can do so without getting the third degree. Which is great, because I'm not gonna stop anyway.

3. I don't have the temptation to snoop.
Although I've never been the type to look through my guy's phone or email accounts, I do have a habit of visiting the Facebook wall a couple times a day occasionally. And although I've rarely, if ever, said anything about the posts that I see, there have been occasions where I have been a little hurt or huffy over something that was said. And the pix... I'd rather not see who tagged him to what event and what he was doing while drunk *side-eye to SupaBlack's FB pix of him licking some broad's leg & him claiming "I don't even remember that, I was sooo drunk." Bastid.*

4. If we break up, I can make a clean break.
None of this trying to decide whether or not to remove him as a friend or unfollow him. No seeing posts/pix about a new chick. No deleting him off some sites only to realize you're still connected on others. No having to go through and delete months of messages and shit. None of that. Clean, instant break. And trust, when I break, I BREAK.

5. If we break up and make up, I don't have to start all over again (not virtually, anyway).
This is really a moot point anyway, as my three strikes rule has been lowered to "half a strike & you're out." But if my three strikes rule was still in place and we did get back together I don't want to go through that awkward thought of whether or not to "friend" him again and then the act of actually doing it. Since it's not an issue now, it wouldn't be then. And that's more than alright with me. :)

1 comment:

karma-dancingwithshadows said...

I, too, agree with this after a break-up having to explain my short, snappy inuendo postings or his retorts on the internet where our non-mutual friends can witness the pettiness that I refuse to engage in. Sometimes, I just need to vent - to no one in particular but foolio can't comprehend that I no longer care what you think about what I write on the blogosphere.

Point is, I've learned that any social sites that I share with another potential will be kept private (not secret) just to keep down the insecurity of reading or witnessing something you think is about you, which usually isn't but if it is, then it is something I will broach with you because if it's bothering me enough to post it out there on the internet, you damn well better believe it is something I will certainly address with said potential.

But you've said it much better. Thanks.