If I had to describe today, I would call it... not the best. I got the results of a biopsy I had done last week. The results? Well, "all clear" is the only good result of a biopsy, and that wasn't what I heard. Undergoing surgery soon. Not my first surgery but it's the first dealing with internal organs (had a bone tumor removed when I was a kid).
The real kicker is that I found out who my support system is. Besides my mom, only three other people knew about it. They also knew I was scared shitless. I have been a wreck waiting for the results, and I'm really shaky now that I know the results. I was fortunate to have two really great friends that comforted me, listened to me whine, cheered me up to get my mind off of it, and called/texted today after they thought my doctor's visit was over to see how it went. They showed me that they cared and proved one of my favorite sayings, "Love is an action word." The other person... well, I didn't get that from him. I didn't get anything really. And it left me in shock to be honest. I cried like a baby all weekend because the one person I wanted and needed to hear from to tell me it would be okay was MIA. Hell, I cried like a baby just a few minutes ago (probably still would be if it wasn't for my mom).
But, I know this is for the good. I would much rather find this out now than down the road when it's too late to turn back. Adversity has a way of letting you know who loves you with their heart and who loves you with their mouth. And I'm sorry, the words "I love you" hold no weight without something to back it up. I don't love him any less. I love him more than he could possibly even know. But I gotta love Tori D. first and foremost, and she can't continue to take a backseat.
2 comments:
I am sorry to hear about your results. I'll keep you in my prayers, and hope everything goes well.
Thank you ma'am!
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