Monday, June 22, 2009

"Back in the day, when i was young... i'm not a kid anymore..." OR "I wanna throw tantrums, too!"

I feel a lot of randomness in me today and feel the need to get it out. And this is something that I just need to get off my chest. *deep breath* I know there's nothing like being on your grown woman ish, and of course for years I bemoaned that I was ready to be "all grown up" and whatnot. However, now that I am an adult and facing the real world I heard so much about, I realize that--on occasion--I would love to revert back to childhood. And not even childhood in it's totality, just little pieces of that age that I want to get back. Pieces such as...


That's right, I wanna throw tantrums every now and then! I mean really, what do 5 year olds have to throw a tantrum about? Not getting candy? Eff that. Dealing with a less-than-satisfying job, grad school issues, parental drama, relationship ups & downs, bills bills and more bills with not enough money to pay for it all, health issues... Yeah, I think I, and adults in general, have the right to throw a tantrum. And yeah, I do my little virtual verbal tantrums here from time to time, but I mean a full on, fall to the floor, kicking, screaming, crying, dead weight tantrum. (If you've ever tried to pick up a child in the middle of a tantrum and had them just go limp on you, you know EXACTLY what I mean about the dead weight!)

Nap Time

It's so weird: Back in kindergarten when we were given naps in the middle of the day, I usually couldn't sleep. I'd be up talking to my neighbor, or watching everyone else. These days, I'd love to get that. I mean, a soft mat AND lights off? What?! And not having to choose between eating or sleeping, like I do now when I sneak in a nap on my lunch break. 30 minutes of dark quietness is all I need. I think I'd be a bit happier at work if I knew I could get that.


Admittedly, I'm not an outdoors type chick. However, was there anything better than fresh air and sunshine after being cooped up all day? The wind in your hair as you go down the slide. Playing house. Mother May I, Red light green light stop, Hide & go seek. Those were the days! Of course, all that stuff required a level of friendliness and sociability that I'd just rather not show these days... Maybe I should scratch this one off the list.


Because really, who doesn't like something new and shiny to play with? Really, I shouldn't even have this on the list as a "back in the day" thing, because I stay in pursuit of a new toy. I've always been a gadget girl; I never asked for dolls and the few I was given were rarely played with. Instead, I loved anything that beeped, lit up, or had buttons. And I guess I'm still the same way: always looking for and dreaming about my next tech toy.

Being Carefree

When you were little, did you wonder where your next meal was coming from, or did you just go into the kitchen expecting cookies? Did you wonder whether the light bill had been paid, or did you just assume that whenever you turned on the tv it would come on, no matter what? Didn't you think that the people in your life were true friends & that they'd always be there? Of course I know that in some cases, the answers to these questions would be different from mine, but for the overwhelming majority of us, we had it pretty darn good. Not really having any major worries, everything being calm after a little coloring... what I wouldn't give to go back to that state!

You know what? Eff it. When I get off work, I'm going to get a coloring book & a 64-count box of crayons (Is that the biggest box now? and how does Crayola keep coming up with more colors?) and color to my hearts content. Maybe even color outside the lines a little. Maybe that's the little throwback my sanity needs. :)

No comments: