Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Compromise

Which would you choose: "complete" freedom or financial freedom?

FAWOHODIE: independence, freedom, emancipation From the expression: Fawodhodie ene obre na enam.
Literal translation: "Independence comes with its responsibilities."

The other night I was out with a friend and the conversation turned to my living situation & how it's not really conducive to someone with a burgeoning career and (would be) active social life. "Why don't you just tell them 'I'm grown and I'll be back eventually'?" he says. After all, I am damn near 25, an adult by any standard. I've proved that I am responsible: same job almost two years (huge accomplishment for me), paying my few bills on time & without having to ask for help, putting away money in savings, not getting knocked up or addicted to anything. My relationship with alcohol is not an addiction; I can quit whenever I want! I shouldn't have to deal with questions about where I am, where I'm going, who I'm going with, what am I doing out so late, etc. It's especially hard to deal with considering the fact that I was on campus on college. I would come & go as I pleased, damn checking in with anyone!

But now I'm back under their roof & their rules. Rules that haven't changed much since I was in high school. :-/ Well, I take that back. It's not that bad. At least now I get to go, where as back then I was mostly confined to my cell the house. The thing now is the calling... Calling to see where I am, the requests to check-in... Ugh, they make me wish I didn't even have a cell phone! I understand their concern, especially after that crazy broad popped up at my house that one time... But still, concern only goes so far before it's just plain overbearing. And then the interrogation that happens if I'm not where they think I should be or with folks they know of, etc. is crazy. I shouldn't have to lie & sneak around like a teenager just to keep the peace!

But there is a reason I put up with it. Simply put, my bank account benefits from me being able to tolerate my folks. I'm not paying one single bill that I didn't create. No helping with the groceries, phone/internet, electricity, water, nada. And of course, the biggie: no rent! If I had to pay all of those things, the little money I save would be gone. My shoe fund would be nonexistent. I wouldn't go out. Trips like my upcoming cruise to the Bahamas would be out of the question, because where would I get that money from? And I know you're thinking, "Didn't you just start a second job? What about that?" Yes, I'm starting my real estate career but guess what? It takes money to start, to market yourself! And that would also be out of the question if I was paying bills. I have it quite good when it comes to my money. And I'm definitely appreciative of that. Why would I mess it up by going off and telling them how grown I am even though I do it daily--in my head?

As generous as my parents are, they don't take shit like that lightly. I'd be showing them just how grown I was on the other side of that door. Now make no mistake, this wouldn't be a problem. I've thought this scenario out hundreds of times and have several ways to go about taking care of myself should it come to that. (Ladies and gentlemen, ALWAYS have a contingency plan!) But it wouldn't be the comfortable existence that I currently have. Along with that, getting a place here kind of carries a certain... ominous feel. Yeah I could get an apartment, which wouldn't be too bad, but I'd be losing out on money, which would mean losing some freedom cuz of my responsibilities. And I could get a house, but that just seems so... permanent. I still want to move (depending on the direction of my career and my relationship). So why not just deal with it for a few more months?

I want to move by December, but I should know what I'm gonna do by maybe October. If it looks like I'm stuck here, I'll break down and get a condo. Until then, I can handle them. I think. Check back with me in a month and see if I'm still saying that...


moxie_b said...

I feel ya...up until I moved out I took all of that for granted. Now with rent, utilities, etc. I wish I was back under my parents' roof living lavishly.... :-\

KMac said...

There is no part of me that wants to live w/ my parents again, no rent or not. I'd wanna kill myself, for real. I think mine would have the same attitude that yours have. Except I could see my dad trying to give me a curfew...:-/

neenarae said...

i completely understand. I moved back when i returned to the states and stayed until I moved for grad school. I put up with lil things like that bc I didn't want to get stuck in a lease-have to buy storage for my stuff, etc. When I would be moving and gone for up to 2 years. I hate bills (although i've created them) lol but i would figure it out in order to keep my freedom. Moving back just for that lil while was hard after having been used to many years of freedom.