Monday, August 2, 2010


Feeling like those extra pounds aren't going anywhere? Not really up to the challenge of hitting the gym regularly and monitoring what you eat? Want to bypass the frivolous diets that those money grubbing doctors want you to try? Call me to find out how YOU can have at home liposuction!

Chins! Tummies! Thighs! Love handles! I do it all!


How does it work?
First, you're loaded up on codeine. Then I make strategically placed incisions and use a vacuum cleaner medical suction device to remove that unsightly fat! Then you're stitched up by my favorite weave expert... err, ummm, I mean.....

Are you trained to do this?
Heck yeah! I've been vacuuming since I was eight, AND trimming fat off meat since I was twelve. Add them together and I got ya!

What happens to the fat you remove?
Well, there are options. We can dispose of it for a nominal fee. You can have it redistributed to another area, such as your buttocks, for much less than those cosmetic surgeons would have you pay. Or you can buy it back to use for cooking. The choice is yours!

How much will it cost?
I charge by the pound, sorta like your local deli.

Is this safe?
Of course! What you mean, "Is this safe?" You got problems with a sista trying to get her side-hustle on?! *flips table* This is that bull....

I'm just saying, if people are falling for things like this, why shouldn't I get a piece of the action?

LOS ANGELES — Los Angeles police are searching for two sisters accused of running an illegal cosmetics business that led to the death of a 22-year-old woman.
Deputy Chief Kirk Albanese said Wednesday that 53-year-old Guadalupe Viveros and her 50-year-old sister, Alejandra Viveros, did not appear for a court hearing Monday as ordered. The pair were arrested June 21 and booked for practicing medicine without a license.
Albanese says one of their customers, Mayra Contreras, died July 24, one day after being injected in the buttocks with silicone by one of the two sisters.
The cause of death has not been determined, according to the Los Angeles Times, but initial reports indicate that “Contreras died from respiratory distress.”
Police say some customers complained that fillers they were injected with hardened, and others developed infections.
Guadalupe Viveros claimed to be a physician in Mexico, but is not allowed to practice medicine in the United States. (Source)


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