Friday, July 30, 2010

Playing Part-Time Mommy

Right now, there are toys in my rear passenger cup holder.

A few weeks earlier, it was candy.

The culprits? No, not little cousins or the little ones I mentor (sporadically... shame on me).

No, this auto desecration is done at the hands of my new "friend's" two little girls.

How did this happen? How did I get here?

I'm sure I've stated this several times on this blog, but once again: I do not want kids. Children just don't fit into my life equation as far as I can see. And on top of that, I didn't want to get involved with a man that had kids. I did that before (Psycho Ex) and realized that I'm a bit too self-centered to share the spotlight. Horrible, I know, but at least I'm honest. But here I am, still childless myself (woop woop, big ups to God and good ol' birth control for that!) but playing party-time mom with two of his kids. Of course I don't do the heavy stuff like discipline and whatnot, but listening to their questions about boys and makeup and what kinda cell phone they want and "grown up life," taking them to the movies and stuff... that's me all day, son. Okay, technically not all day, but weekends and whatever days they happen to be over when I'm over... yeah.

And surprisingly, I don't have a problem with this. Usually. We can all chill together, go out to eat, play video games together... And I actually enjoy it. Yes, Ms. I Don't Want Kids can deal with spending time with the kiddies and not want to gouge her eyes out or pout for attention. Most of the time.

But then there are those rare times that I really need just some grown up alone time and I can't get it. No, I'm not just talking about time for sex... I know that's where your mind went first! I'll give you an example: earlier this week I had a horrible day. Wanted to cuss folks out at work, found out the client I thought was going to buy a house has decided to put it off another year, issues with my dad. I really needed to vent and drink and be told that it would be okay. When I dropped by to see him, I was surprised to see that the girls were there too. They were all laughing and playing a game and I'm sitting on the couch sullen as hell. After a few minutes I left. He asked what was wrong and why was I leaving, but what was I gonna tell him? "Ignore your kids 'cause I need some attention" is just not something I can bring myself to say. I felt horrible for even wanting to say that. So the best thing was to just leave. I told him that I felt like I was intruding on their daddy/daughter time, which was partially true. He told them what happened; hopefully they won't think too much about it. I'd hate for them to get it in their little minds that I was trying to do anything to come between them and their daddy.

Oh well... This weekend he's supposed to be taking his "three ladies" out. Let's see what goodies get left behind this time. :)

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