Monday, May 4, 2009

Quick Vent

At first I decided that I would not get too personal on here. With the exception of this post and very few others in the future, I probably won't. But I'm upset and need to vent.

Tonight my father gave me the "No one will ever love you enough to not cheat on you" speech. Not the first time I've received such loving encouraging words from him either. (That was sarcasm, by the way) I try really hard not to let the BS he spews get to me, but stuff like that does. Like, in what remote section of his brain does he think that that's an acceptable thing to say to someone? And to say that to your own daughter, REALLY?!

And it's true, I've had some really fucked up relationships in the past, and a lot of them did involve infidelity. However, how could I have a positive relationship when I had a fucked up male figure in my life? The one that's supposed to help shape me and build me was and is constantly trying to break me down. And when I go against what I know and finally found someone who is great for me, I still feel impaired because I've internalized this garbage from my father without even knowing it.

Anyway, I know that I need to cut him out of my life for good. He brings nothing but negativity in my life and I'll be damned if I spend my entire adult life suffering through the same things I've been through as a child. Fuck that.

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