I WANT TO EAT.
I am not hungry.
I am bored. I am lonely. I am upset.
I am full.
But I want to eat so bad.
I know one of my problems is that I'm an emotional eater. I try not to do it, I really do. But sometimes it seems like its the only thing that comforts me. A lot of times when I'm dealing with shit I don't really have people I can turn to for help or to listen. So I comfort myself with sweets or bread or pasta... Just something to keep my mind occupied on something else. Something to keep my mouth full so I can't say what's bothering me out loud.
That's where I am now. I want to grab a huge handful of cookies and go to town. Say fuck this diet, fuck the weight, fuck the stuff that's pissing me off. I was hoping that writing, reading, watching tv, SOMETHING would take this feeling away.
Nothing has.
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