I WANT TO EAT.
I am not hungry.
I am bored. I am lonely. I am upset.
I am full.
But I want to eat so bad.
I know one of my problems is that I'm an emotional eater. I try not to do it, I really do. But sometimes it seems like its the only thing that comforts me. A lot of times when I'm dealing with shit I don't really have people I can turn to for help or to listen. So I comfort myself with sweets or bread or pasta... Just something to keep my mind occupied on something else. Something to keep my mouth full so I can't say what's bothering me out loud.
That's where I am now. I want to grab a huge handful of cookies and go to town. Say fuck this diet, fuck the weight, fuck the stuff that's pissing me off. I was hoping that writing, reading, watching tv, SOMETHING would take this feeling away.
Nothing has.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
It's That Time Again...
It is March in Mississippi. The weather is doing that crazy hot/cold thing, but for the most part, its warming up. The first day of spring was yesterday (or is it today?) so as far as the temperature, it's all uphill from here.
This can only mean one thing.
The time has come for me to grapple with my warm weather frenimy: ICE CREAM.
Y'all just do not understand how deep my dysfunctional relationship with this creamy, cold, delicious, soothing, yummy.... *goes off into ice cream fantasy trance* What was I saying? Oh yeah, ice cream is the debbil. I could literally eat ice cream every single day, even in the winter. But when it's cold I can push it off in favor of something else, like hot chocolate or flavored lattes. But in the spring/summer/early fall.... it's ridiculous how strong my cravings are! But I will win the battle against ice cream. I'm not gonna be delusional and swear off ice cream. Besides, I already had a nice wonderful, ecstasy-laden cone of ice cream from Chick-Fil-A yesterday. But I will NOT give in to going to Baskin Robbins today. i refuse to go to Marble Slab tomorrow. i will not go to Sonic & get that junior candy sundae next week. I will capture that elusive beast called will power and I will make it mine!!! (Too dramatic? I think it was a little too dramatic, but it's there now so oh well)
Seriously though, I'm thinking, if I can limit myself to one moderate portion of ice cream every two weeks, I'm doing pretty good. By stronger people's standards that's still probably a lot, but until they make an ice cream patch, gum, or twelve-step program, it is what it is.
Oh yeah, if you're wondering why I haven't posted anything person for a while, it's because there really has been nothing to post. Absolutely no progress. Now I could say it's because I've been too busy to exercise, or stress has been getting to me, or that it was too hard or whatever. But you know what? I won't, because those would be excuses, and we all know what excuses are. So instead of me building monuments, I'll just say that I'm getting back on it and will do better.
Now to go pretend these pineapple chunks are a big bowl of Blue Bell.
This can only mean one thing.
The time has come for me to grapple with my warm weather frenimy: ICE CREAM.
Y'all just do not understand how deep my dysfunctional relationship with this creamy, cold, delicious, soothing, yummy.... *goes off into ice cream fantasy trance* What was I saying? Oh yeah, ice cream is the debbil. I could literally eat ice cream every single day, even in the winter. But when it's cold I can push it off in favor of something else, like hot chocolate or flavored lattes. But in the spring/summer/early fall.... it's ridiculous how strong my cravings are! But I will win the battle against ice cream. I'm not gonna be delusional and swear off ice cream. Besides, I already had a nice wonderful, ecstasy-laden cone of ice cream from Chick-Fil-A yesterday. But I will NOT give in to going to Baskin Robbins today. i refuse to go to Marble Slab tomorrow. i will not go to Sonic & get that junior candy sundae next week. I will capture that elusive beast called will power and I will make it mine!!! (Too dramatic? I think it was a little too dramatic, but it's there now so oh well)
Seriously though, I'm thinking, if I can limit myself to one moderate portion of ice cream every two weeks, I'm doing pretty good. By stronger people's standards that's still probably a lot, but until they make an ice cream patch, gum, or twelve-step program, it is what it is.
Oh yeah, if you're wondering why I haven't posted anything person for a while, it's because there really has been nothing to post. Absolutely no progress. Now I could say it's because I've been too busy to exercise, or stress has been getting to me, or that it was too hard or whatever. But you know what? I won't, because those would be excuses, and we all know what excuses are. So instead of me building monuments, I'll just say that I'm getting back on it and will do better.
Now to go pretend these pineapple chunks are a big bowl of Blue Bell.
Monday, March 16, 2009
"The only real way to lose weight"
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/the-only-way-to-really-lose-weight-429385/
Interesting article, although there's no ground breakingly new info in it. Basically, it says that there was some scientific survey that said simply cutting back on what participants in a study ate caused them to lose weight & maintain their weight loss. (Big surprise, eat less, lose weight! /end sarcasm) I guess the "important" thing about this article is that the participants didn't necessarily have to limit the amount of fat, protein, or whatever. It wasn't so much what they ate, but how much of it. Of course I'm sure there's some study to say "No, you can't eat this, that and the other; here's why!" But I found this to be kinda interesting, in a "Well I coulda told you that" way.
Interesting article, although there's no ground breakingly new info in it. Basically, it says that there was some scientific survey that said simply cutting back on what participants in a study ate caused them to lose weight & maintain their weight loss. (Big surprise, eat less, lose weight! /end sarcasm) I guess the "important" thing about this article is that the participants didn't necessarily have to limit the amount of fat, protein, or whatever. It wasn't so much what they ate, but how much of it. Of course I'm sure there's some study to say "No, you can't eat this, that and the other; here's why!" But I found this to be kinda interesting, in a "Well I coulda told you that" way.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
"7 decades of wacky dieting trends"
from http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/7-decades-of-wacky-dieting-trends-409427/
They may be called fad diets, but, man, these weight-loss ideas sure stick around longer than leggings and platform wedges. The Cookie Diet may have earned some street cred when Jennifer Hudson was associated with trying it, but the plan got its start in the ’70s. And that Master Cleanse Beyoncé reportedly used to slim down? It’s probably older than your mom. Read on for more ways women have fought fat for the past century. Note: Some are really bizarre and unhealthy.
1930s-’40s diet trends: Smoking and the Master Cleanse Models and celebrities must have gotten the idea that smoking keeps you thin from somewhere, right? It turns out a 1920s-’30s ad campaign is to blame. Cigarette brand Lucky Strike used the line “Reach for a Lucky Instead of a Sweet.” Ugh! Do we even need to remind you of all the reasons—infertility, heart disease, lung cancer—smoking is one of the unhealthiest habits for you? Women looking for a quicker fix opted for the lemonade diet, or Master Cleanse. Developed by Stanley Burroughs, the diet allowed only lemon juice, cayenne pepper and maple syrup. Nearly 70 years later, Beyoncé reportedly used the same program to shed pounds for her role in 2006’s Dreamgirls. Talk about staying power!
Don't try these other scary celeb diet tricks!
1950s diet trend: PrayerWant to drop pounds? Pray for weight loss. The idea may sound nutty to some, but in the 1950s, the Christian dieting industry exploded. After losing 100 pounds, Reverend Charlie Shedd wrote the book Pray Your Weight Away, which was published in 1957. The best-seller set the trend for future titles such as I Prayed Myself Slim (1960), Help Lord, The Devil Wants Me Fat! (1978) and The Weigh Down Diet (1997), which advised readers not to confuse physical hunger for what was really spiritual hunger. Think this trend has died? Think again. In 2002, Don Colbert, M.D., published What Would Jesus Eat? and The What Would Jesus Eat Cookbook.1960s diet trend: Support groups and cabbage soupThe ’60s were all about sharing the love, and the concept even applied to dieting. Dieters began forming support organizations. Early in the decade, a group of compulsive eaters formed Overeaters Anonymous. And in 1961, Jean Nidetch invited friends into her New York City home to talk about weight loss. Two years later, after losing 72 pounds, she launched Weight Watchers. But dieting wasn’t always so friendly. The Cabbage Soup Diet was published in a book during this time. It promised dieters they would lose 17 pounds, but users mentioned the gassy side effects—not exactly conducive to close encounters, huh?
Need to lose weight fast? Try these healthy "crash" diets.
1970s diet trend: Diet pills The era touted the miracle of diet pills. Some claimed to stop the body’s absorption of carbs. In essence, they promised you could stuff your face with pizza and bread without consequences. After reports of vomiting and abdominal pain, however, the FDA pulled the pills in 1983 to investigate the long-term side effects. This turned out to be a good thing because researchers found that the undigested starch was going straight to the colon—yikes! Dexatrim was another pill of the era. The appetite suppressant contained the drug PPA (phenylpropanolamine), and in 2000, it too was pulled from the market. The pill was eventually reincarnated as Dexatrim Natural Ephedrine-Free, though some critics still aren’t convinced it’s safe. Our take: Unless they’re prescribed by your doctor, pills are almost never a good idea.
Reasons why men worship your body just the way you are.
1980s diet trend: Scarsdale Diet The 1980s swung away from easy fixes and back to hardcore discipline with the Scarsdale Diet. It was a two-week high-protein, low-carb and super-low-calorie diet (1,000 calories or fewer per day!). Author Herman Tarnower, M.D., claimed that by going on and off the diet every two weeks, followers could lose up to 20 pounds per week without any long-term deprivation of any vitamins or minerals. But the food list was restrictive: no butter, no salad dressing (except lemon and vinegar) and no alcohol. Your snack choices were either raw carrots or celery—that’s it. If losing 20 pounds a week sounds too good to be true, it is. For most people, consuming fewer than 1,200 calories a day is considered a starvation diet.1990s diet trend: Low-carb Atkins Throughout the ’80s, people became aware of red meat’s association with heart disease, so they thought carbohydrates were the answer to a longer life, says Gabriella Petrick, PhD, a food historian at New York University. “The medical knowledge at any given time gets reflected in diets prescribed,” she says. “In the ’80s, the popularity of lean chicken also exploded. And in the ’90s, the Atkins diet was a reaction against ideas in the 1980s that said you need a high-carb diet.” People who had ballooned from all the carbs fell in love with Dr. Atkins. Although he’d been around before the ’90s, his popularity soared after the book Dr. Atkins’ New Diet Revolution was released in 1992.
They may be called fad diets, but, man, these weight-loss ideas sure stick around longer than leggings and platform wedges. The Cookie Diet may have earned some street cred when Jennifer Hudson was associated with trying it, but the plan got its start in the ’70s. And that Master Cleanse Beyoncé reportedly used to slim down? It’s probably older than your mom. Read on for more ways women have fought fat for the past century. Note: Some are really bizarre and unhealthy.
1930s-’40s diet trends: Smoking and the Master Cleanse Models and celebrities must have gotten the idea that smoking keeps you thin from somewhere, right? It turns out a 1920s-’30s ad campaign is to blame. Cigarette brand Lucky Strike used the line “Reach for a Lucky Instead of a Sweet.” Ugh! Do we even need to remind you of all the reasons—infertility, heart disease, lung cancer—smoking is one of the unhealthiest habits for you? Women looking for a quicker fix opted for the lemonade diet, or Master Cleanse. Developed by Stanley Burroughs, the diet allowed only lemon juice, cayenne pepper and maple syrup. Nearly 70 years later, Beyoncé reportedly used the same program to shed pounds for her role in 2006’s Dreamgirls. Talk about staying power!
Don't try these other scary celeb diet tricks!
1950s diet trend: PrayerWant to drop pounds? Pray for weight loss. The idea may sound nutty to some, but in the 1950s, the Christian dieting industry exploded. After losing 100 pounds, Reverend Charlie Shedd wrote the book Pray Your Weight Away, which was published in 1957. The best-seller set the trend for future titles such as I Prayed Myself Slim (1960), Help Lord, The Devil Wants Me Fat! (1978) and The Weigh Down Diet (1997), which advised readers not to confuse physical hunger for what was really spiritual hunger. Think this trend has died? Think again. In 2002, Don Colbert, M.D., published What Would Jesus Eat? and The What Would Jesus Eat Cookbook.1960s diet trend: Support groups and cabbage soupThe ’60s were all about sharing the love, and the concept even applied to dieting. Dieters began forming support organizations. Early in the decade, a group of compulsive eaters formed Overeaters Anonymous. And in 1961, Jean Nidetch invited friends into her New York City home to talk about weight loss. Two years later, after losing 72 pounds, she launched Weight Watchers. But dieting wasn’t always so friendly. The Cabbage Soup Diet was published in a book during this time. It promised dieters they would lose 17 pounds, but users mentioned the gassy side effects—not exactly conducive to close encounters, huh?
Need to lose weight fast? Try these healthy "crash" diets.
1970s diet trend: Diet pills The era touted the miracle of diet pills. Some claimed to stop the body’s absorption of carbs. In essence, they promised you could stuff your face with pizza and bread without consequences. After reports of vomiting and abdominal pain, however, the FDA pulled the pills in 1983 to investigate the long-term side effects. This turned out to be a good thing because researchers found that the undigested starch was going straight to the colon—yikes! Dexatrim was another pill of the era. The appetite suppressant contained the drug PPA (phenylpropanolamine), and in 2000, it too was pulled from the market. The pill was eventually reincarnated as Dexatrim Natural Ephedrine-Free, though some critics still aren’t convinced it’s safe. Our take: Unless they’re prescribed by your doctor, pills are almost never a good idea.
Reasons why men worship your body just the way you are.
1980s diet trend: Scarsdale Diet The 1980s swung away from easy fixes and back to hardcore discipline with the Scarsdale Diet. It was a two-week high-protein, low-carb and super-low-calorie diet (1,000 calories or fewer per day!). Author Herman Tarnower, M.D., claimed that by going on and off the diet every two weeks, followers could lose up to 20 pounds per week without any long-term deprivation of any vitamins or minerals. But the food list was restrictive: no butter, no salad dressing (except lemon and vinegar) and no alcohol. Your snack choices were either raw carrots or celery—that’s it. If losing 20 pounds a week sounds too good to be true, it is. For most people, consuming fewer than 1,200 calories a day is considered a starvation diet.1990s diet trend: Low-carb Atkins Throughout the ’80s, people became aware of red meat’s association with heart disease, so they thought carbohydrates were the answer to a longer life, says Gabriella Petrick, PhD, a food historian at New York University. “The medical knowledge at any given time gets reflected in diets prescribed,” she says. “In the ’80s, the popularity of lean chicken also exploded. And in the ’90s, the Atkins diet was a reaction against ideas in the 1980s that said you need a high-carb diet.” People who had ballooned from all the carbs fell in love with Dr. Atkins. Although he’d been around before the ’90s, his popularity soared after the book Dr. Atkins’ New Diet Revolution was released in 1992.
I need j-j-j-j-j-j-junk food!
Okay, the title will make no sense to you if you've never seen Jungle Fever. If you have, you should know the scene I'm referencing. Sam Jackson has me rolling every time I see it!
But I digress, already. I am going through withdrawal yall! What I wouldn't do for a large order of french fries and an oreo blizzard! (Strange craving combo, I know). I've been watching my portions, with the exception of last night. For some reason it's harder for me to do that when I eat breakfast food. But I haven't done sweets, cut way back on carbs... Less than a week in and I feel like saying "F this!" and getting the biggest plate of pasta I can find & going to town!
That's all, just wanted to share that :)
But I digress, already. I am going through withdrawal yall! What I wouldn't do for a large order of french fries and an oreo blizzard! (Strange craving combo, I know). I've been watching my portions, with the exception of last night. For some reason it's harder for me to do that when I eat breakfast food. But I haven't done sweets, cut way back on carbs... Less than a week in and I feel like saying "F this!" and getting the biggest plate of pasta I can find & going to town!
That's all, just wanted to share that :)
Monday, March 2, 2009
It's the first of the month...
Okay, well technically it's the 2nd. Big whoop, wanna fight about it?! (had to get a Family Guy reference in here somewhere)
Anyway, for the latter part of February, I was on the hunt for a diet that would be suitable and realistic for me. I didn't find one. :( I saw several that would work if I had time to sit down and eat six meals a day, or if I could buy expensive organic foods and then plan out & cook an entire week's worth of food. But the reality is that sometimes I can only get my hands on one or two meals a day. Sometimes, I bag of chips is the only thing within reach to keep my stomach from snitching to the world that I haven't eaten since 5:00 pm the previous day. So what am I, a not quite financially able (read: broke) woman with an unpredictable schedule to do?
I figured I'd take mom's advice and not focus so much on "a diet" as opposed to focusing on what and how much I eat. I'll have to learn to say "not tonight" to my food lovers: bread, pasta, rice, potatoes *sob* and eat more of the crap I hate... Like I've mentioned previously, I've tried this before, but I usually fall off the wagon. But I should be able to do this at least for a month and a half right? (I know I should be thinking long term, but right now I'm just trying to lose my 30 lbs by my birthday.) and somewhere in the evening, I'll have to magically make some extra minutes appear and do some kind of exercise at home. I still have the challenge of finding something I can do in my cramped little room... I'll see if I can youtube some of those Crunchless Ab workout videos I've seen on the infomercials. If not, maybe I'll just start j-setting... LOL
Anyway, for the latter part of February, I was on the hunt for a diet that would be suitable and realistic for me. I didn't find one. :( I saw several that would work if I had time to sit down and eat six meals a day, or if I could buy expensive organic foods and then plan out & cook an entire week's worth of food. But the reality is that sometimes I can only get my hands on one or two meals a day. Sometimes, I bag of chips is the only thing within reach to keep my stomach from snitching to the world that I haven't eaten since 5:00 pm the previous day. So what am I, a not quite financially able (read: broke) woman with an unpredictable schedule to do?
I figured I'd take mom's advice and not focus so much on "a diet" as opposed to focusing on what and how much I eat. I'll have to learn to say "not tonight" to my food lovers: bread, pasta, rice, potatoes *sob* and eat more of the crap I hate... Like I've mentioned previously, I've tried this before, but I usually fall off the wagon. But I should be able to do this at least for a month and a half right? (I know I should be thinking long term, but right now I'm just trying to lose my 30 lbs by my birthday.) and somewhere in the evening, I'll have to magically make some extra minutes appear and do some kind of exercise at home. I still have the challenge of finding something I can do in my cramped little room... I'll see if I can youtube some of those Crunchless Ab workout videos I've seen on the infomercials. If not, maybe I'll just start j-setting... LOL
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