Pandemic: The Adult Temper Tantrum

Wasn't cute then...

There is a disturbing trend in our society that has exploded within the last few years. More and more, people are flying off the handle about things, whether they be as insignificant as a .50 price hike on their favorite food at Taco Bell or as major as losing a job. And of course you can't forget the celebrity hissy fits, of which Charlie Sheen and Chris Brown are currently leading the way. Every other day there is a new story or video of someone freaking out and destroying property, assaulting others, or just making an ass of themselves by running their mouths and making threats. Meltdowns are mainstream thanks to camera phones and the web, and there appears to be some unspoken contest to see who can spaz out the best... or worst.

I will admit, I wish adults were given a pass to throw a temper tantrum once or twice a year. A full out, on the floor, kicking screaming yelling crying fit! (In fact, I would've used mine last night after realizing that I may have to delay getting my own place even longer than I thought... Another post for another time.) After all, life is stressful and always bottling those frustrations gets to be a bit much. Nowadays everyone is under pressure: the haves & have nots; the educated & the ignorant. People need an outlet for their frustrations, which is understandable. But is there ever anything that justifies going ape sh*t over a burger? (Literally, this chick and her friends look and act like monkeys in this video.)

Doing The Most vs. Doing Too Much

Lately I've been wondering if I've been doing too much to try to make it. IMO, there is absolutely a difference between "doing the most" and "doing too much."

For me, this is doing the most:

Working hard, or "grinding" as so many people claim to do. While I haven't quite stepped into the role of entrepreneur (yet) I realize that to get where I want to be, I have to do things that I don't necessarily want to do now. So I endure a job I don't like, persevere through a career I love that is at a stand still due to the economy, and daily come up with new ideas of how I can turn my real passions (writing and the arts) into viable means of income.

But I'm afraid I may have fallen into doing too much:

I wonder if this is me. Focus has always been hard for me and it's no different now. I know the end result that I want, but getting there is proving to be more difficult than I envisioned. So I try to take on more and more to make up for what isn't happening that I think should be happening. So far, this has lead to being super stressed, constantly tired, and getting a bunch of nothing done.

Does that mean I'm not built for the kind of dreams to which I aspire? Or am I just doing too much for the moment and need to pace myself? At this point, the answer eludes me. I've slowed down on some things: put chartering a NBMBAA chapter on hold, kinda dropped some of my sorority obligations (which I feel terrible about, but there's not enough Tori to go around), cut out the tiny bit of social life that I had. And although I don't have a choice with the job and career, I am weighing my options on the other ideas to figure out which is the best for me presently.

I'd hate to get burned out from doing too much before I get to show the world what I can really do.

Houston, We Have a Problem

Saturday night, something shifted concerning my relationship. It seemed kinda minor at the time, but two days later and it's still bothering me.

Bartender and I were talking, and somehow the topic of foreigners came up in the convo. I don't really remember what he said, but I responded, "Oh my God, you sound like a friggin Tea Partier!"

"Huh?"

"You sound like a Tea Partier!"

"Tea Partier? What do you mean?"

"You mean, you don't know about the Tea Party?"

"Yeah, I know about the Boston Tea Party when they threw the tea in the ocean, but it sounded like you meant some new party that took on that name."

"Umm yeah, I do!"

National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day

image courtesy of theredpumpproject.org

"I don't want to know."

"Ignorance is bliss."

"If I have it, there's nothing I can do about it."

There are plenty of excuses one could give for not knowing their status, but none of them are plausible. Knowing your status is a vital part of the fight against HIV/AIDS, and we as women cannot afford to turn a blind eye to it. Women, especially minority women, are disproportionately affected by this horrible disease. Want proof?

Every 35 minutes, a woman tests positive for HIV in the United States. Though much progress has been made in the areas of HIV/AIDS prevention and treatment, women still represent 27 percent of all new AIDS diagnoses, with African-American women making up an overwhelming 66 percent of that number. In 2006, teen girls represented 39% of AIDS cases reported among 13–19 year-olds. Black teens represented 69% of cases reported among 13–19 year-olds; Latino teens represented 19%. (source*)

On Being a Woman

You may or may not know this, but March is Women's History Month. In fact, today is the 100th anniversary of International Women's Day, "a celebration of the economic, political and social achievements of women past and present that is observed around the world." It is great that women everywhere are taking time to recognize and honor the achievements of other women, great and small.

I have been blessed to be surrounded by strong women who make great strides daily. Of course there's my mother: her high school counselor didn't even present college as an option, however she went, excelled, and is now over the accounting department in on of the state's largest agencies. My big momma, who worked tirelessly for years to provide not only for her children and grandchildren, but for countless nieces, nephews, cousins and neighbors. My twin cousin, who is pursuing her Master's in a field where women (especially Black women) haven't been prominent for very long: engineering. And my broker, who at less than 10 years my senior is living the dream I want--owning my own real estate firm.

Aunts, cousins, sorors, family friends... The caliber of women I am around astounds me!

There are constant reminders that being a woman is not synonymous with being weaker, less capable, or more vulnerable. Proof that a woman's worth is not in her womb. At this point in my life I have come to truly appreciate the duality that I am afforded by being a woman. My soft, feminine, nurturing side is just as appreciated and celebrated as the traditionally "masculine" traits and interests. My hope is that others around me, especially the girls in my life, will see something in me that makes them proud to be a woman as well.