Cut & Dry

Black or white.

Right or wrong.

Liberal or conservative.

Gay or straight.

Christian or Muslim or Hindu or Buddhist or.... not.

Is life really so cut & dry? This is something that I've been wrestling with lately. From what I've observed in my little time in this place, we have a tendency to want to categorize and label everything. We feel they should fit in neat little boxes so that we can easily identify them. Why? I think it stems from fear of the unknown. We hate things that are ambiguous, but every day I live I realize that my beliefs and issues and personality isn't one of "this or that." Maybe that's why I feel like I'm battling myself sometimes, like there's a conflict within. Sometimes I think those who live in ignorance and don't have the desire to probe & question things have it made. I think I'd rather accept things as they are and coast through life. But that's not my nature. I was meant to do more.

Excuse me. Just a little late night rambling...

The Right to Love

Maybe this is "not in my lane" since I'm neither a resident of Malawi nor seeking a relationship with a woman, but I'm still gonna post about it.*smirk*

Last week in Malawi, two men were sentenced to "the maximum 14 years in prison with hard labor." Their crime? Being in love with each other. According to MSNBC:

Chimbalanga, a 20-year-old hotel janitor, and his unemployed partner were arrested Dec. 27, the day after they celebrated their engagement with a party at the hotel where Chimbalanga worked — an apparent first in Malawi.

"Maximum sentences are intended for use for worst cases," Magistrate Nyakwawa Usiwa Usiwa said as he delivered his sentence. "We are sitting here to represent the Malawi society which I do not believe is ready at this point in time to see its sons getting married to other sons or conducting engagement ceremonies."

(Source)

Thank goodness we don't go to those extremes here (although antiquated laws relating to homosexuality are still on the books in several states). I don't know how anyone could read stories like this and not see how fucked up it is. But I know people who do. Typically conservative, staunch Christians can really be assholes when it comes to homosexuals. Okay, you don't agree with their lifestyle. you don't understand it. You may even think that they are going to hell for who they love. You are entitled to your opinion just as they are entitled to do as they please. But to openly say that they don't deserve the same rights as their straight counterparts simply because they don't live like you think they should? Sorry, can't go there with you, and I doubt Jesus, Mohammad, Buddha, etc. will either.

The reasoning I've heard some people give for being discriminatory towards gay people is utterly ridiculous. They say that if we allow gay marriage it's a "slippery slope" to people marrying animals and adults marrying kids. Aroo?! Since when could kids or animals give consent? How does one equal the other?
I also remember hearing a preacher saying that if they are given the right to marry, fight in the army, etc. that they'll "soon be in the schools, right there over our kids." NEWSFLASH: (you may wanna sit down) There have always been gay and lesbian teachers, preachers, doctors, lawyers, and whatever else. This isn't some new craze that's going around. Homosexuality goes back to the earliest days of mankind. To think that they have to be stopped now is absurd.

And if all of their rights were taken away, what change would be made? What "good" would that do? Would that cause them all to say "Oh well I guess I won't be gay anymore!" or something? Will discrimination force them to be straight? Umm, no. A person won't and shouldn't have to change who they are just because someone else doesn't agree. Whether it's a lifestyle that they chose or just how they were born (I refuse to get into the "nature or nurture: homosexuality edition" debate) they deserve to live their lives with the same right to love and happiness as everyone else.

We can't play God, no one has a heaven or hell to put anyone into. If you don't agree with what they do and how they live, condemning and discriminating against them won't make the situation better for anyone. Simply pray for them, and while you're at it, pray for yourself. God knows we all have our own shit to get straight.

New poem... "Addict," I guess

love addict
always looking for the next high
searching for the best connect
need another hit to get by
got a new supplier every time i turn around
thought i was a loyal customer
but no one seems to stay down
or maybe one just ain't enough for me
maybe one just can't fulfill my needs
i need powder stimulation
sensuality in a pill
liquid comfort
and "we can chill" weed
but fuck it
i'm tryin to quit
cuz coming down?
coming down is a bitch.



In my head this is finished. In my heart... I got more shit I wanna say but maybe this isn't the one to say it through... I dunno...

Sky Cake

One of the funniest commentaries on religion by an Athiest I've ever heard:

After the Fact

By this point, I'm sure you've read the tragic story of Aiyana Jones. (That is, if you frequent black sites and follow the black blogosphere/Twitter. What's with the lack of coverage of this HUGE story, MSM?) I won't go into the blame game on this one, as details & stories aren't adding up like they should. And I won't be pulling the race card (though I find it highly unlikely that an incident like this would've occurred with a white family in a predominantly white neighborhood). Plus, there are plenty of people speculating and putting in their two cents; I'll refrain until something conclusive comes out.

My thoughts are, "Now what?" What happens to the family of this slain 7-year-old? The officer that fatally shot her? The community she belonged to? We've seen too many instances where the police have abused their power, acted negligently, or just plain made a remarkable mistake in judgement and nothing is done about it. No punishment for the officer. No change in policy. Barely an apology to the victims' families. And as more information comes out, we hear allegations that the police--the ones charged to protect and serve--tried to cover up the truth about what happened. We can't truly say this is an isolated incident because we see it happen regularly. And when it does, we're pissed and vigilant for a few days, then things go back to business as usual. Eventually, we have to let it be known that we are not happy with the way things are and that we demand change. Trust, waiting around for things to get better is absolutely futile without working to make it so.

Contact the Detroit Police Department to express your concern
CHIEF OF POLICE

Warren C. Evans ~ Chiefofpolice@dpdhq.ci.detroit.mi.us
DETROIT POLICE DEPARTMENT
1300 Beaubien Detroit, MI 48226

Related Link:
The Black Snob on the "No-Knock" method used that night

So ummm, is anyone still purporting the "Post-racial America" myth?

Or does post-racial means it's okay to be this open with your racism?

25 Cometh

Yup, the Quarterpiece is gonna be a quarter-century old...

Even though I'm not big on astrology & stuff, I do kinda have a thing about numbers. Actually it's more of an OCD thing than anything else... But anyway, five (and it's multiples) always seem to pop up in important things or during big events in my life. I won't go into details cuz I refuse to let y'all think I'm crazy! LOL But that being said, my twenty-fifth birthday is something like a big deal to me. So much so that I felt like I should do a commemorative post or something. You may want to do a screen print with a timestamp so that when I'm famous you can show your kids that you e-knew me when I was relatively unknown. (Yes this post is full of hubris. If you can't deal, get out now!) Since I couldn't pin down just one thing I wanted to talk about, I figured I'd do it all!

Five things I thought would be different at this point
Up until recently (and not so recently for some of these) I thought that by the age of 25 I:
1. Would be looong gone from Mississippi
2. Would be married
3. Would be at least contemplating kids... Okay, Imma scratch this one but leave it in because I am, but it's not in totally serious mode yet cuz my last name hasn't changed...
4. Thought I'd be doing something creative... Fashion design, writing, photography, music... Never thought I'd be sitting behind a government desk doing busy work
5. Assumed that I'd still be "thick as thieves" with some of my childhood friends. Not so, but I'm closer to some other friends than I would've ever imagined.

Five things to do within the next 25 years
1. Travel to the five other inhabitable continents (no way I'm going to Antarctica)
2. Start my nonprofit organizations
3. Become a broker & have other real estate agents working for me
4. Get married. I refuse to be in the 98% of black women that the media says is gonna die alone with twenty cats! LOL
5. Retire! Ambitious, I know, but I want to be able to retire and travel while I'm still young enough to enjoy it! (Maybe too ambitious... Perhaps I should aim for 30 years with this one)
Five ideal ways to spend a birthday
1. In bed, butt naked with a boo or a boo-substitute
2. Shopping on 5th Avenue or Rodeo Drive
3. A day full of kiddie fun with my friends & fam: go-carts, mini golf, paintball, laser tag
4. A cruise! (I tried so hard to make a cruise happen this weekend, but to no avail. Oh well, at least I have CousinsCruise2010 in June!)
5. Being completely pampered: spa, mani-pedi, being served and chauffeured around, full princess treatment.


Five things I've learned so far
1. You will outgrow some people, whether they be friends or lovers. It's the natural way. As the saying goes, "We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person." You have to learn to completely let go & just be happy for the good times that once were.
2. Everyone, at one point or another, has a piece of advice, wisdom or knowledge that you should adhere to. Regardless of that person's status, whether or not you like them, whatever. There is something that you can learn from even "the least of these." Don't be so high-minded that you can't learn.
3. Not everyone that calls themselves friends are actually in your corner. Some are just waiting for your downfall; others are actively trying to make it happen. Keep your eyes open, don't be naive. And don't take your real friends for granted. They are few and far between, but when they are real it feels like an army is on your side.
4. Accept yourself for who you are. You'll never fit everyone's ideal mold, physically, spiritually, intellectually... And that's more than okay! The only folks that need to be totally pleased with you are God and you yourself. And if you're Atheist then I guess you only have to worry about yourself... Moral of the story: I've learned to be the Tori that Tori is happiest with, regardless of what changes others want of me.
5. There is no Superwoman. Or, if there is, I'm not her. I can't handle everything alone and probably shouldn't try to. That doesn't really keep me from trying, but I'm getting a little better at it! So yay for progress :)

Five gifts that you can give me!

You still have 5 days to fulfill my wish list, so get to it! (and if you're wondering, yes, I was born on 5/15/85 at 5:23 pm. Coincidence???)

1. The complete Marvin Gaye collection. I don't even know if there is a full collection of his work, but I want it! Bonus points if you can get it in MP3 format so I don't have to go through burning a bunch of CDs!

2. This one isn't nearly as sexy: a 16gb mini disk & an aux cord (so I can use my BB as an mp3 player). I have a little 1 gig memory card in there but it's just not enough! And I wanna be able to use it in the car, since I don't even buy CDs that often anymore.

3. This beautiful Tiffany ring. This style comes with several different stones. I'd love any of the following:

And to get all six would only set you back about $60,000. What a deal! ^_^

4. This royal blue Hello Kitty hat. Apparently I'm like a year late on this. New Era brought this out like early last year, but I only recently saw this pic. Now everyone that knows me knows that I'm a Hello Kitty fanatic, and the fact that this hat is royal blue and white... PERFECTION! However, I haven't been able to find it. *le pout* I have, however, seen it in black and purple. Those are okay too, I guess. But if you could find this royal blue one, you would be like the most special person ever for like two days. If you find it somewhere, email me for my hat size. I refuse to let y'all know how big my head is for naught!

5. CASH. Eff all those manners and etiquette books & sites that say money is impersonal. I GOT BILLS!

A Fat Chick's Wake-Up Call

Anyone who knows me, has followed this blog for a while, or has seen a picture of me knows that I'm not exactly a dainty little thing. My weight has always been a struggle, even since I was a very young child. Of course I've tried to lose weight on many different occasions, mainly to be able to buy cute little trendy clothes and to try new positions like the stand and carry. But then I find a few big girl pieces and get it in the good ol' fashioned way, and I'm prone to slide into a state of "Meh."

But ummm, I think I'm gonna change that.

My cousin was recently hospitalized and placed in intensive care. The reason? Diabetes. Her blood sugar was crazy high and the doctors could not get it down. They held her almost a week before finally getting it under control. Now, there are some things I'm sure you assumed. She's a black female, and yes she does love soul food. She's in Mississippi, the fattest state in America. One thing I don't think you'd readily assume though: she's in elementary school. I was in shock when I found out about it. She & my Big Momma (her great great grandmother) are both having to check their blood sugar, watch what they eat, take medication... It's crazy.

Sooo yeah. I've got to get up and get active again and start monitoring what I eat even closer. Forget trying to be skinny, that's unrealistic for me. But damn if I let myself be unhealthy. My mouth may get me in trouble a lot of ways, but what I eat won't be it.