A Slice, A Half, A Whole

This morning, while I was supposed to be getting ready for work, I was on Twitter doing my usual routine of "Good morning," responding to my missed replies, etc. I saw that one of my girls re-tweeted something from Rev. Run, and it got me to thinking.

@BlackBeauty85 RT @RevRunWisdom: 1 lady said about her husbands long wrk hrs.“I'd rather have a slice of a gr8 man than the whole of an average man” (wrk!)

@BlackBeauty85 RT @RevRunWisdom: REFUSE TO BE AVERAGE!!!

While I definitely co-sign the rejection of being average (to me that's just a polite term for mediocre) I don't know whether I can completely agree with the first tweet. I responded:

@KittyPurrfecta Of course, having the whole great man would be great, or at least half. If you only have a slice, is that enough to be satisfied? Hmmm....

I understand what the quote was supposed to mean, and to a point I agree. I would much rather a man work hard to help provide for his family than to barely work or have a lazy attitude when he needs to have drive and initiative. That just would not do, and that type of man wouldn't last long enough with me to even think about marriage.

However, I am a bit selfish. (I blame it on my condition: onlychildism.) When I have something or someone truly great, I want it all to myself! Of course, I realize I can't have my way all the time and at some point I have to share. And I'm okay with that. You can't and shouldn't attempt to contain greatness. I understand. I would be willing to support him in any way I could. But I should be content with a slice? Naw, homie, I don't think that's gonna work!

Here's what I think of when I think of having a "slice" of a man:

• Having a man that puts work before family



• Him not truly being "at home" even when he's physically there at home (example: not being able to talk to me because he is so wrapped up in talking to colleagues & handling business, even though he's "off work")



• Barely seeing him in passing



• Him not being willing to put other things on hold for just a while to spend time with me/his family



• Him using the majority of his time, attention, passion and money elsewhere

I know where some of you all went when you read this. "Well what about Michelle? I'm sure she doesn't get to spend time with Barack like she wants to, blah blah blah." Guess what? Although I'm fabulous and a great woman in my own right, I am not Michelle! I'm Tori D. and I need attention!

No, I don't plan on being one of those wives who basically sit around all day waiting to dote on their husbands. With the career that (I think) I'm going to pursue, I'm sure I will be working long hours at times too. Be that as it may, I'll be working those long hours so that I can have a couple weeks out of the year to travel, spend time with hubby, family and friends. I'm working to live, not living to work. If I have this "slice of a great man" will I be able to say the same thing about him? What's the point of being able to travel to exotic locales and whatnot if I don't have my partner with me? All I'll be thinking about is the fact that I'm in a new, romantic place and not getting any. That's when the eyes start to wander.... (Just being honest folks! lol)

So I can settle for half of a great man. Still better than a whole average man, in my opinion. With that half a great man, maybe we can take one two-week long vacay a year instead of a week-long one every three or four months. (Yes, I really planned on doing that.) Instead of having dinner together every day, it'll just be on Sundays and occasionally a Saturday. I may not be able to have him with me on every special occasion or every event that the kids have, but with half of a great man at least I can have anniversaries, maybe birthdays... And best of all, unlike with a "whole average man," I still get my space when I need it and won't be made to feel as guilty when I spend longer than I planned in the office or out with clients.

But a slice of a man? Oh no. For me, that slice is about as useless as that pie chart, and probably just as frustrating and difficult to understand.

Da Minista "Go Back"

I have to say, I hate hate HATE gospel rap. I don't have any particular problem with the idea of it, but all gospel rap that I have heard has been subpar as far as the "rap" goes, and the "gospel" gets muddled in them trying to use slang without really using it. IDK... What I do know is that this song is no exception to that.

However, I absolutely love the message to "church folks" in verse 3. He addressed one of the main things that makes me cringe about most churches: people sit and judge those that come in "off the street" when those are the people they should be showing love to and making feel welcome so that they wanna come to God. Instead, they turn up their noses and gossip about what someone has one. Just a few weeks ago, my pastor tore into this girl (a VISITOR) that came to the altar because she had on pants. Nothing wrong with what she had on, but he still felt the need to address it (even though the very next week he made a comment about not saying anything to people that come in with pants O_0 -I'll just chalk it up to him getting old and grumpy and/or senile). Moral of the story: people are worried about the wrong thing!


Unfortunately, I couldn't find a video, lyrics or anything (after all, he's just a local *ahem* artist), but I found the song on his Myspace page! (I dunno why, but I am so tickled by that!) If you wanna just hear the verse I'm talking about, it starts at 3:00.

Anyway people, what are your opinions on the song, the message, gospel rap in general, whatever? I'm listening!

The Results Are In

If I had to describe today, I would call it... not the best. I got the results of a biopsy I had done last week. The results? Well, "all clear" is the only good result of a biopsy, and that wasn't what I heard. Undergoing surgery soon. Not my first surgery but it's the first dealing with internal organs (had a bone tumor removed when I was a kid).

The real kicker is that I found out who my support system is. Besides my mom, only three other people knew about it. They also knew I was scared shitless. I have been a wreck waiting for the results, and I'm really shaky now that I know the results. I was fortunate to have two really great friends that comforted me, listened to me whine, cheered me up to get my mind off of it, and called/texted today after they thought my doctor's visit was over to see how it went. They showed me that they cared and proved one of my favorite sayings, "Love is an action word." The other person... well, I didn't get that from him. I didn't get anything really. And it left me in shock to be honest. I cried like a baby all weekend because the one person I wanted and needed to hear from to tell me it would be okay was MIA. Hell, I cried like a baby just a few minutes ago (probably still would be if it wasn't for my mom).

But, I know this is for the good. I would much rather find this out now than down the road when it's too late to turn back. Adversity has a way of letting you know who loves you with their heart and who loves you with their mouth. And I'm sorry, the words "I love you" hold no weight without something to back it up. I don't love him any less. I love him more than he could possibly even know. But I gotta love Tori D. first and foremost, and she can't continue to take a backseat.

Shoe Porn: BCBG

I have a love/hate relationship with BCBG/BCBGirls. I find the cayutest BCBGs in stores, but online... well, that is definitely a hunt that usually leaves me with an empty electronic shopping cart. But I was able to find a couple pair that I would be willing to break into the piggy bank for (if my bank wasn't already busted to pieces...)
forgive the formatting; these pix would not cooperate with me! hmph!



BCBGirls Madrida ($118.00)

BCBGirls Amor ($110.00)

BCBG Mabyn ($225.00) I prefer the gold/brown ones. couldn't find a decent pic of those though :(

BCBG Diane ($225.00)

BCBG Fiona ($198.00)

Today's Randomness: This is creepy!

This commercial is soooo creepy to me! The whole thing just seems off to me: the music, the people-plants, everything! This does not make me want a car! This makes me... Well I dunno, but I feel a way!

And damn if I didn't see another one of their people-plant commercials as soon as I started typing this!



Again, CREEPY!
Damn you Toyota!

a non-poem poem

i gotta love me first
i gotta love me most
i'm the only one so i gotta do it well
depending on someone else is asking for hell
sounds sad, but i'm not
i gotta love me cuz i'm all i got